


headphone actor

by sisstrider



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa Zero
Genre: Epistolary fiction, Espionage, oc centric whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:58:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisstrider/pseuds/sisstrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em>It's very unfortunate I have to say this,</em><br/>
<em>But the world is going to end today<em></em></em></p>
</blockquote><p>tactical espionage action.</p>
<p>( or: near the end of its term, hope's peak academy was full of spies. )</p>
            </blockquote>





	headphone actor

**Author's Note:**

> my OCs kind of started as dr0 ocs but then they became more original characters than fan characters. so here they are in their original element
    
    
    ???: Kaz! Kaz, can you hear me?  
    
    ???: Kaz!  
    
    ???: Oh my god, are you sleeping? Wake up, dude!  
    
    Kaz: _Yawns_ Sir! I hear you now, sir! What's the matter?  
    
    ???: Oh, nothing, everything's all fine...  
    
    ???: I just have some tapes for you, you know?  
    
    Kaz: Tapes? What am I going to do with those — Oh, you mean the tapes of people's conversations you recorded!  
    
    ???: Yeah, definitely!  
    
    Kaz: I'm really sorry, sir, I just woke up and all...but yeah, turn those in as soon as possible! Remember, it takes us some time to process them...  
    
    ???: Got it man, I'll have them over as soon as I can!  
    
    Kaz: Sounds good! By the way...is that all you wanted to say, sir?  
    
    ???: Um...oh yeah! I remember something. You got me those new pins, right?  
    
    Kaz: That's right, sir! Like I told you, those pins aren't there as...something you put on your jacket to show off what you like. They're tools that you as an agent can use! You want me to go over them?  
    
    ???: Sure, go ahead.  
    
    Kaz: I designed the buttons myself...they're actually mini-syringes! If you take those plastic tops of...you should see they're all filled with liquid. That's how you can refill them.  
    
    Kaz: Uh...don't actually do that right now, though. I'm assuming you're out in the open?  
    
    ???: Yeah, I am.  
    
    Kaz: Then you'll just have to take my word for it, sir...anyway, what you do is stab someone with the pin and press down on the top part. The needles themselves are actually really short, though, so you'll have to make sure you hit a blood vessel.  
    
    ???: That shouldn't be too hard!  
    
    Kaz: Yeah. Moving on...you should take your time to become really familiar with which pin does which. Do you know that?  
    
    ???: Um...no.  
    
    Kaz: Okay then. You see the pin with uh...Big Boss on it?  
    
    ???: Yeah.  
    
    Kaz: That contains cyanide. If it helps, just remember that he's Snake, and snakes are poisonous! Okay, you might think you could accidentally stab yourself and poison yourself...and that's why I have an antidote!  
    
    ???: Okay Kaz, I really wasn't thinking about that...where the hell did you get the idea from?  
    
    Kaz: Sir, it doesn't hurt to be prepared!  
    
    ???: No, I got that.  
    
    Kaz: Like I said, there's an antidote! The pin with...Raiden on it contains the antidote. I don't have a mnemonic for it, but let's see...maybe I can make one up! How about...he's...not Snake, so it's not poisonous?  
    
    ???: _Laughs_ Oh my god, Kaz! That's — just amazing! Is that the only thing you know about Metal Gear?  
    
    Kaz: Uh...yeah. I did try to look it up, sir!  
    
    ???: You're not wrong, though. Raiden isn't Snake, but the Patriots were trying to see if they could make him into someone like Snake!  
    
    ???: Well, that's what people thought...but they were really experimenting to see how they could control people! It's really confusing, though, so I'm not gonna get too into it.  
    
    Kaz: I'm trying to explain what your pins do anyway, sir...so! You have two more pins, right? The pin with Otacon on it contains a tranquilizing agent!  
    
    ???: Dude, I already have something for that!  
    
    Kaz: You have a tranq gun already, right?  
    
    ???: Yeah.  
    
    Kaz: Well, this is...just in case you can't just take out a gun and fire at people ‘cause of the situation you're in!  
    
    ???: Like using one of these is any less weird!  
    
    Kaz: Well, it's less conspicuous than taking a gun out, that's for sure. Nobody would expect a pin to do anything but prick them.  
    
    ???: You're right...  
    
    Kaz: And finally, we got your last pin. It has Revolver Ocelot on it—  
    
    ???: Excuse me, that's MAJOR Ocelot! Not REVOLVER Ocelot!  
    
    Kaz: Um. Wow, uh, sorry sir...  
    
    ???: That's my husband, okay, Kaz? You can't just do that to him!  
    
    Kaz: Right. As I was saying...the pin with MAJOR Ocelot on it contains truth serum. What's a spy without one of those, anyway?  
    
    ???: There's other ways to do it, you know? You don't have to use that.  
    
    Kaz: Like what? Torture?  
    
    ???: Yeah.  
    
    Kaz: Sir, I was JOKING!  
    
    Kaz: Truth serum is way more efficient anyway. And how are you gonna torture someone at the school and get away with it, in the first place?  
    
    ???: Well...did you know the dorms here are soundproof? You wouldn't be able to hear ANYTHING that goes on in them! Kidding, though!  
    
    Kaz: Yeah don't...please don't torture anyone, sir. I'm assuming your mission has to do with school kids?  
    
    ???: AND faculty people!  
    
    Kaz: Well, don't torture them either, okay? Just...don't torture anyone. Our mission's on domestic soil!  
    
    ???: Ha! You think just ‘cause of that people won't do fucked up stuff?  
    
    Kaz: That's true...It's just weird when it's all...people who are part of a government facility, you know? We work for the government. You really think it'd start going after its own?  
    
    ???: Yeah, if there was a reason...and this is a big one!  
    
    Kaz: The facility IS hiding things from the government. That can't look good! I can't believe the government gives the school money...if it re-budgeted, I think we'd have cooler technology! What if we got a gun pen? Or a grappling hook that could be hidden in someone's watch? Oh man...I always wanted to see the International Spy Museum in America!  
    
    ???: Seriously, man? But you're one already! What would going there even do?  
    
    Kaz: A lot of agencies are much better off than we are...like the CIA and uh, how the KGB was when it was a thing! They've got to have more interesting stuff than us...and I want to see it!  
    
    ???: Okay...maybe you should go sometime, then! Hell, I could take you there, I think...  
    
    Kaz: Really, sir? That'd be great! I...really think we shouldn't be using this communication channel to make small talk, though. Did you know that our conversation is being recorded?  
    
    ???: Of course, dude! It's totally fine, though, I have time to talk.  
    
    Kaz: You do, sir? Well...I could tell you about anything else. Er, are you being observed, though?  
    
    ???: I'm sitting out in the hall right now, Kaz!  
    
    Kaz: Oh...okay, I'll think of things I can tell you right now, then.  
    
    Kaz: You know the protocol for this mission, right?  
    
    ???: What do you mean? It's the usual thing though, right?  
    
    Kaz: I meant like how you shouldn't shoot first and ask questions later. Do you want to get a reputation as a school shooter?  
    
    ???: Hell no! That's just...messed up, that's what it is!  
    
    Kaz: Then you should follow protocol. In the event that you're caught, first you try to talk the person out of it, If that doesn't work, you use your tranquilizer on them. And ONLY if your life is in immediate danger do you shoot.  
    
    Kaz: So I don't want to hear any gunfire, okay? I doubt this mission would require you to shoot people...I mean, you're at a SCHOOL of all places! If you needed to get in a gunfight...what kind of place IS that?  
    
    ???: You never know, Kaz...you really never know.  
    
    Kaz: Right. We're spies, right? We have to expect the unexpected, and all that...!  
    
    ???: That's the spirit! If anything bad happens, don't worry about it, okay? I'll have everything under control!  
    
    Kaz: You're awfully sure of yourself...but that's what you got in for, right?  
    
    Kaz: The "Ultimate Spy..." I mean, wow! The fact that we're doing this big mission...it's so cool, don't you think?  
    
    ???: Eh. Are you talking about James Bond now? What the hell, Kaz! Those movies are shit!  
    
    Kaz: No, um...sorry, sir...I forgot about that.  
    
    ???: It's fine, Kaz...it's no big deal.  
    
    Kaz: Well...if you say so, sir. Um, no offense, but I think we've talked enough, though! I know the channels are supposed to be secure, but...I want to be safe, you know? Just because we're on duty right now...  
    
    Kaz: But first! You got the tapes and you're going to send them to HQ, right?  
    
    ???: Of course! I'll get them in the mail right now.  
    
    Kaz: Okay, sir, thank you! I'll contact you later?  
    
    ???: Yeah sure, talk to you later! Bye, Kaz.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i know there's a canon ultimate spy. he's factored into this too


End file.
